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Apr 02, 2006

Comments

Shelley

Yes, and yes. That is, yes, we are interested in your life, and yes, *all* of the topics you list sound interesting and enlightening -- I don't know that I could pick just one.

Lut C.

I want to hear about all those topics!

This one piques my interest particularly: "Why 8 out of 10 babies adopted from Korea are boys, and why Americans overwhelmingly prefer girls for internationally adopted children."

In a number of the surrounding countries, mostly girls are given up for adoption. How come this is different for Korea?

Does the preference for girls have anything to do with not passing on the family name through an adopted child? That can't be it.

Julie

They all sound great, but I'd love to hear about your career plans the most.

millie

So nice to see some lovely words from you.

I'm interested in all the topics you mention. Especially if that keeps you writing during the lengthy process.

I understand your fears that you may never be enough for your child, but every child is different. My next-door-neighbor was adopted from Vietnam and that's never been an issue for her. I know that's only for her but have to think that lots of children feel like she does.

Em

That's an interesting stat about Americans preferring girls babies to boys. I'd have thought that once you actually get through all the paperwork and the checks, people would actually be happy for either sex.

korin

Hmmmm. I'd read about any of those topics. I'm happy to hear from you period! :D

Donna

All those potential topics are about adoption really, and I would expect you to continue to write about all the varied facets, and I'll continue to read about them. Hopefully you can use this as a forum and a catalyst to work through some of the more esoteric/cultural/emotional issues.

art-sweet

I am interested in all of the above. Esp. the boy/girl one.

btw, please check out my blog if you're concerned about infertility treatment and insurance. I've got a post up about a bill that threatens to undercut state laws mandating insurance coverage of infertility. For some reason this has been getting a lot of attention in the diabetes blogworld (my other haunt) but not in the infertilisphere.

Nancy

Please write about the 8/10 boy babies- I have been wondering about this and never see the reason anywhere.

Also curious about why you can't read Manuela any more, as I'm a Pinkline reader too.

Jenn

I'm interested in all of them, but my top three would be: Manuela's blog, never going through infertility treatments, and books on open adoption painting too rosy of a picture.

P.S. I'm so very glad you aren't dead or locked in a room without internet access.

AmericanFamily

Yes, I am interested in all of those topics. I think one post a day for a week or so should just about do it.

Karen

Interested in all of the above, especially the possibility of an open international adoption. But mostly just glad to hear from you!

Ornery

I'm interested in all of it, but particularly curious about the first topic since I'm a Manuela blog reader.

akeeyu

Options one, four, six, and seven please.

Now, hop to it! Start writin', woman!

Sassy

It sounds like you've got a lot to write about even if it isn't as full on as the constant 28 day cycles. Really, I'd love to see the thoughts behind all of those points and I think it's sharing your views about those kind of things that gets some really interesting conversations happening.

Tonya

I'm interested in all things adoption, and item 1 especially. Sorry things are going so slowly, and I hope the national office sends the HSTK very soon.

Sarah V.

They all sound fascinating! If you have to prioritise, I'm requesting 1 and then 4. And then all the rest, please, in whatever order suits you/your other readers. Get writing, woman!

thalia

Under 1, I'd like to know about how you managed your career going through treatment: Did you take days off? Did you just hide? Yell at people? I'd also like to know about how you and T handled things together - did you talk a lot? Just hold each other? What did you disagree about? How did you manage the tension?

Oh and everything under 2, particularly on the ethics of adoption.

MaggyJo

Love to read what you want to write. I, too and doing adoption (domestic) and while it is much longer than the fertility treatments (that never worked) at least there is a prize at the end of the journey! And what a prize!!! I am also interested in why you can not read Manuela's blog anymore - I have my own thoughts on that!

Lisa

They haven't sent the homestudy to Korea yet? That sucks!

More bad news. It takes a few weeks to mail something to Korea, at least that's been our experience mailing stuff to my Korean exchange student's family.

I too would like to hear about all the topics.

Stephanie

I'd be interested in hearing about your thoughts on open adoption..frankly I am just too damned selfish to even consider it. As you probably know from my own blog, I have strong feelings about obligations on both sides (adoptive mom vs birth mom). Also, since I recently decided to stop infertility treatments, I could certainly commiserate with you on why I will NEVER do it again.

Bonnie

I'd like to hear about all those topics, but particularly your fear that your child will acutely feel the loss of her biological parents. This is a big concern of mine, being pregnant via DE.

I'm pretty sure I know why reading Manuela's blog would be difficult for you as you pursue adoption.

KIMMER

All the topics sound great to me also. Just glad your alive and well!

soon2bmom23

First time posting here, I too am in the process of adopting from Korea and it looks as if we are at about the same place in the process. I would like to read your commentary on any of the above mentioned topics, but I am particularly interested in either #2 or #4, as those are both things I struggle with on a daily basis.

Erin O'

Hi,

Delurking to say I'm interested in all of the topics. My husband and I are beginning the adoption process and are looking at the Korea and Ethiopia programs.

Would love to hear from you on all points!

Erin O'

The comments to this entry are closed.

Adoption To-Do's

  • 

    Total Expenses So Far: $21,531

    Select country (Korea) (11/14/05)

    Select agency (11/17/05)

    Tell our families

    Receive preliminary application

    Preliminary App filed (12/5/05):

    • Fill in application
    • Photo of us, photo of house
    • Write medical statement, elaborating on treatment for depression
    • Line up four non-relative references
    • One copy of tax returns from past three years
    • Pay $200 fee
    • Notarized adoption services agreement $10
    • Fedex to Agency $15

    Receive Big App (12/15/05)

    Receive Korea Adoption Guidebook

    Home Study Paperwork: (1/19/06)

    • S: Complete "Personal Data" form with 67 essay questions
    • S: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • S: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • S: Criminal Record Statement
    • S: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • S: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • S: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • S: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • S: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • T: Complete 51 essay question "Personal Data" form
    • T: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • T: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • T: Criminal Record Statement
    • T: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • T: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • T: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • T: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • T: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • Complete detailed Financial Statement
    • 1 photocopy marriage license
    • Photo of baby's room
    • Map & directions to home
    • Copy all, keep for records
    • FedEx packet to agency, $15 (1/12/06)
    All 4 non-relative references return 3-page, 10-essay questionnaires directly to agency (1/28/06)

    Home Study Part 2: (4/3/2006)

    • Receive & pay invoice for home study $3066 (2/1/06)
    • Schedule social worker visits (2/10/06)
    • Childproof house (smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, outlet covers) $40
    • Social worker visit #1 (joint) (2/21/06)
    • Acceptable Medical Conditions Form (2/27/06)
    • From that details how "open" an adoption we are willing to consider  (2/27/06)
    • Social worker visit #2 (S only) (2/28/06)
    • Social worker visit #3 (T only) (2/28/06)
    • Sign up for module 1 & 2 of parenting class
    • Book travel for parenting class in Southern California
    • Modules 1 & 2 of agency parenting class (in SoCal) $500 (1/21/06)
    • Receive 2 completed, certified, notarized copies of Home Study (4/3/2006)

    Agency sends Home Study to Korea (HSTK) (4/7/2006)

    Sign up for modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class

    Take modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class (4/9/06)

    I-600A filed with US-CIS (Advanced Processing of Orphan Petition for Visa) (4/6/2006):

    • I-600A form
    • Copy certified Home Study
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • Photocopy of marriage license
    • Copy of most recent federal tax return
    • Proof of medical insurance
    • $545 fee + $140 for FBI fingerprints = $685
    • Cover letter
    • Copy all for records
    • Mail to US-CIS San Francisco

    FBI Fingerprinting:

    • US-CIS acknowledges receipt of I-600A (4/12/06)
    • FBI Fingerprinting appt. scheduled (different than LiveScan fingerprints)
    • FBI Fingerprinting completed, for each (4/28/06)

    Receive I-171H (Approval of I-600A) (5/11/06)

    Pick baby name

    Arrange for medical evaluation of referral

    Receive Referral (12/29/06)

    • Child's presentation letter
    • Child's information
    • Photographs
    • Medical records
    • Confidential background information

    Medical evaluation of Referral by Oakland Children's Hospital (1/10/2007)

    File Referral Acceptance Paperwork: ($140 + $12) (1/6/2007)

    • Child Information Transmittal
    • Pay invoice for $17,500
    • 3 Placement Agreements - all notarized
    • T: 4 Statements of Adoption (for child's Korean passport) - all notarized
    • 3 Travel Option forms
    • 1 Foreign Travel Release - notarized
    • T: 2 Affidavit re INS Vaccination Requirements
    • T: 2 I-864 Affidavit of Support for Immigration
    • S: 2 I-864A Contract between Sponsor and Household Member
    • Copy of entire last year tax return, with ALL attachments
    • Copy of all last year W-2 and 1099 forms
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • T: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • S: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • Photocopy of marriage license (again)
    • Photocopy everything for records
    • FedEx to agency (1/6/2007)

    Receive child's "legals" from Korea (in English & Korean): (1/22/2007)

    • Affirmation and Oath Certificate (attests these documents are true and correct)
    • Certificate of the Guardian (certifies Korean agency was guardian)
    • Statement of Guardianship (transfers guardianship from Korean agency to American agency)
    • Extract of Family Register (birth certificate equivalent)

    I-600 visa petition form filed w/ US-CIS: (1/25/2007)

    • I-600 form
    • Copy of I-171H
    • Copies of child's legals
    • Originals of child's legals, with note and SASE envelope requesting they be returned
    • Copy of child report
    • Copy of child photos
    • Copy of most recent 1040 tax form
    • Copy of I-864
    • Copy of I-864A
    • Letter with visa cable instructions
    • Fedex to US-CIS San Francisco $25

    Meanwhile, the Korean agency works away:

    • Our application is translated
    • Korean agency applies for Emigration Permit with Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare
    • Ministry approves Emigration Permit (aka "EP")
    • Agency gets I-171 (I-600 approval) cable from US Embassy in Seoul
    • Baby tested for Hepatitis B & HIV
    • Visa physical for baby
    • Submit application for baby's IR-4 Visa

    Resubmit our I-600 visa petition after US-CIS screws up (2/9/2007)

    Buy baby gear (3/17/07)

    Baby CPR & safety class (2/17/07)

    Line up a regular pediatrician (3/5/07)

    Line up a pediatric cardiologist (3/14/07)

    Investigate childcare options (3/17/07)

    Line up Daycare (5/25/07)

    Get on preschool waiting list (1/5/07)

    Setup nursery(3/19/07)

    Get life insurance for both

    Write wills with statements of guardianship wishes (both)

    Set up trust

    S: Get pre-approval family leave with HR (1/24/2007)

    Buy gifts for foster family, Korean agency staff (3/16/07)

    Make travel arrangements to Korea ($185 plus 240,000 frequent flyer miles) (3/13/07)

    Wrap-up job for a 15-week leave (3/12/07-3/16/07)

    Finalize leave plans with HR (3/15/07)

    Travel to Korea (3/19/07 - 3/25/07)

    • Meet both foster mothers (3/21/07, 3/22/07, 3/23/07)
    • In-Korea pre-flight medical exam (3/22/07)
    • Go to US Embassy in Seoul to process Class-B Waiver (acceptance of medical condition) 3/22/07
    • Get the final Visa paperwork (3/22/07)
    • Take custody of child! (3/23/07)
    • Long plane ride back to USA (3/25/07)

    USA Medical Evaluations

    • Add baby to my health insurance (3/28/07)
    • Evaluation by regular pediatrician (3/30/07)
    • US immunizations (3/30/07)
    • Evaluation by pediatric cardiologist (4/18/07)
    Receive Placement Confirmation Notice from Agency (3/28/06)

    Receive baby's Green Card in mail (4/16/07)

    Get social security number under baby's Korean Name as permanent resident (4/27/07)

    Receive post-placement packet in mail from Agency(4/15/07)

    Post-placement visits from social worker: (9/12/07)

    • Visit #1 (4/28/07)
    • Visit #2 (6/30/07)
    • Visit #3 (7/26/07)
    • Visit #4 (9/12/07)

    Create and file child "progress reports" with 8-18 photos each, for Korean agency and government, and a letter with photos for foster family (9/12/07)

    • 1-month progress report (4/28/07)
    • 3-month progress report (6/30/07)
    • 4-month progress report (7/26/07)
    • 6-month progress report (9/12/07)

    File US Physician's Examination Report with Agency (4/17/07)

    File Adoption Finalization Paperwork in our county in California (5/1/07) ($20)

    • Form ADOPT-200 (Adoption Request) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-230 (Adoption Expenses) (5/1/07)

    RE-File Finalization Paperwork the State changed in July '07 (ARGH!) (11/13/07)

    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (11/13/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (11/3/07)

    Finalize Adoption in County Court

    • Receive "Consent to Adoption" from agency (11/2/07)
    • Schedule court hearing (coming in December '07!)
    • Adoption finalization court hearing (Munchkin is now a US citizen, and his American name is now his legal name!)
    • Have a HUGE Party to celebrate!
    • Send agency/Korea copy of child's adoption decree (child is no longer considered a Korean citizen)
    • Send adoption announcements

    Secure proof of US citizenship for child:

    • Complete & file N-600 with US-CIS, pay fee
    • Receive Certificate of Citizenship
    • File passport application
    • Receive passport
    • Apply to SSA to get status changed from resident alien to citizen, SS# name changed (passport is proof)

    Start the process all over again for kid #2!