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« Denoument | Main | Final Post (Part 1) - Questions Answered »

Apr 27, 2007

Comments

Jenn

No questions, just I'm so happy for you and sorry to see you stop blogging. I'll miss you.

Jennifer

Ditto to what Jenn said. We will miss you, but are so happy to see your happy ending.

Lisa

I'm sorry to see you quit blogging. Any chance you can update once in a while when you feel like writing?

I'm glad to hear you are happy now. Good luck to you and your new son!

Amyadoptee

Holy crap, I notice the link to my blog from yours. I visit and you are quitting. Oh no no no no. Where did you hear about first moms being holy rollers? Sorry that one had me rolling. Believe me you won't quit writing. Now it will be about adoption. Come back Please

Summer

I second the request for occasional posts. Since you're leaving the blog up for at least a year, could you write about how you and Munchkin are doing somewhere down the line?

I hate to see you go, but I am glad you are so happy and hope things stay that way for a long, long time.

Lut C.

Riding off into the sunset - excellent!
Of course I'll miss you, but I can understand the lack of drive to write.

Tonya

I was hoping to get to follow your journey forward, but I totally get how the motivation has evaporated. It is really reassuring so see that happy endings do still exist! If you ever feel the need to write again, we'll be here.

My only (nosy) question-- is your family complete now? (Do you/have you considered adopting another?)

And... I wish your blog could hang around longer. Your collection of info (and especially your adoption checklist) is pretty freaking awesome. You are detail oriented in a way that totally rocks my world.

Janice

First of all, congrats! I've been a lurker for a while. My husband and I adopted from Taiwan this past October. So has this whole experience restored your faith in God? How has it affected your spirituality?

Bonnie

I'm sorry you are going to stop blogging. Are you sure you won't do the occassional update? I was looking forward to hearing about munchkin's first year. If I'm counting correctly he is close to Braeden in age.

Sarah Abrahams

I'm looking into adopting cross culturally soon and I was wondering what you have done/plan to do to expose Munchkin to his culture of origin and other cultures in general? I wondering about this for myself and looking for good ideas.

Ali

Oh, I am sorry to see you go. I completely understand losing the desire to keep posting--but I hold hope that even though happy, you will find joy in posting about how great everything is, etc.

Patience

Wow - I left a comment here and it totally disappeared!!

The basic gist was I'm so sorry to see you stop blogging, but glad it's for only the happiest of reasons.

isabel

Thanks for blogging: so glad you have 'finally arrived'. So, so glad, so happy for you guys! Waving you off into the sunset...

labia lady

Well, you will be missed... Thanks for your frank and heartfelt posts. I have gained much from reading your blog. Good luck to you and yours. I will check in every now and again to see if there's any updates...

Sarah V.

Yes, damn right! You promised ages and ages back to tell us why there were so many more boys than girls available for adoption in Korea, and I really want to know!

Also, I recall you saying something about you hoping to stay in touch with Munchkin's birth mother and asking whether anyone had any questions about that - but that was a hypothetical at the time. If you are able to let us know how this worked out in practice, I would love to hear it - but I do understand that this is personal, maybe too much so for a blog once it comes to the point.

And finally, just wanted to say how delighted I am that you got your much-deserved happy ending. I've been fascinated by your detailed descriptions of exactly what's involved in adoption and how you arrived there, and I really hope you do post updates now and again in the future, because I would love to hear more about how you get on with motherhood. Best wishes!

thalia

It's been so fantastic, over the last few posts, to hear the absolute delight in your writing, to experience through this awkward medium, the happiness of a fantastically positive step in your family journey. Thank you for sharing it. I'm so very sorry to see you go, but do understand why. I'm glad you'll be leaving the blog up. The material you wrote about ectopics, your adoption to do list, among other things, I'm sure are fantastic resources for others.

Questions: I guess I worry about the very angry korean adult adoptees and the way they feel about their adoptions. Have you read any of that? How do you feel about it? Has it made any changes in how you expect to parent your son? (perhaps that's unanswerable, feel free to ignore).

lucky#2

Wow. I am so sorry that you are signing off, but so very thrilled that you have reached happiness! You've been through a lot and I know I have learned so much from your journey.

Hopefully, you'll be surprised by your need to blog! Otherwise, enjoy your life. Good bye, blogging friend.

Good bye.

Tracy

No questions from me...just wanted to say I'm sooo happy that you are happy!!! Congrats on finally arriving. I love your blog and have found strength and a lot of info. here, so I think it is great you are keeping it up for a while to continue to help others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and wisdom as you have walked this path. Now enjoy your little one!!
xo, Tracy

Louise

Thank you for leaving your archives up as a resource- invaluable!

Would love to hear your answers to some of the questions above.

Take care,

Kimmer

No questions either, just wanted to tell you congratulations!!!

Amyesq

I don't blame you. I plan to do the same thing. Congratulations again!

The comments to this entry are closed.

Adoption To-Do's

  • 

    Total Expenses So Far: $21,531

    Select country (Korea) (11/14/05)

    Select agency (11/17/05)

    Tell our families

    Receive preliminary application

    Preliminary App filed (12/5/05):

    • Fill in application
    • Photo of us, photo of house
    • Write medical statement, elaborating on treatment for depression
    • Line up four non-relative references
    • One copy of tax returns from past three years
    • Pay $200 fee
    • Notarized adoption services agreement $10
    • Fedex to Agency $15

    Receive Big App (12/15/05)

    Receive Korea Adoption Guidebook

    Home Study Paperwork: (1/19/06)

    • S: Complete "Personal Data" form with 67 essay questions
    • S: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • S: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • S: Criminal Record Statement
    • S: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • S: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • S: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • S: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • S: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • T: Complete 51 essay question "Personal Data" form
    • T: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • T: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • T: Criminal Record Statement
    • T: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • T: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • T: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • T: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • T: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • Complete detailed Financial Statement
    • 1 photocopy marriage license
    • Photo of baby's room
    • Map & directions to home
    • Copy all, keep for records
    • FedEx packet to agency, $15 (1/12/06)
    All 4 non-relative references return 3-page, 10-essay questionnaires directly to agency (1/28/06)

    Home Study Part 2: (4/3/2006)

    • Receive & pay invoice for home study $3066 (2/1/06)
    • Schedule social worker visits (2/10/06)
    • Childproof house (smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, outlet covers) $40
    • Social worker visit #1 (joint) (2/21/06)
    • Acceptable Medical Conditions Form (2/27/06)
    • From that details how "open" an adoption we are willing to consider  (2/27/06)
    • Social worker visit #2 (S only) (2/28/06)
    • Social worker visit #3 (T only) (2/28/06)
    • Sign up for module 1 & 2 of parenting class
    • Book travel for parenting class in Southern California
    • Modules 1 & 2 of agency parenting class (in SoCal) $500 (1/21/06)
    • Receive 2 completed, certified, notarized copies of Home Study (4/3/2006)

    Agency sends Home Study to Korea (HSTK) (4/7/2006)

    Sign up for modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class

    Take modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class (4/9/06)

    I-600A filed with US-CIS (Advanced Processing of Orphan Petition for Visa) (4/6/2006):

    • I-600A form
    • Copy certified Home Study
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • Photocopy of marriage license
    • Copy of most recent federal tax return
    • Proof of medical insurance
    • $545 fee + $140 for FBI fingerprints = $685
    • Cover letter
    • Copy all for records
    • Mail to US-CIS San Francisco

    FBI Fingerprinting:

    • US-CIS acknowledges receipt of I-600A (4/12/06)
    • FBI Fingerprinting appt. scheduled (different than LiveScan fingerprints)
    • FBI Fingerprinting completed, for each (4/28/06)

    Receive I-171H (Approval of I-600A) (5/11/06)

    Pick baby name

    Arrange for medical evaluation of referral

    Receive Referral (12/29/06)

    • Child's presentation letter
    • Child's information
    • Photographs
    • Medical records
    • Confidential background information

    Medical evaluation of Referral by Oakland Children's Hospital (1/10/2007)

    File Referral Acceptance Paperwork: ($140 + $12) (1/6/2007)

    • Child Information Transmittal
    • Pay invoice for $17,500
    • 3 Placement Agreements - all notarized
    • T: 4 Statements of Adoption (for child's Korean passport) - all notarized
    • 3 Travel Option forms
    • 1 Foreign Travel Release - notarized
    • T: 2 Affidavit re INS Vaccination Requirements
    • T: 2 I-864 Affidavit of Support for Immigration
    • S: 2 I-864A Contract between Sponsor and Household Member
    • Copy of entire last year tax return, with ALL attachments
    • Copy of all last year W-2 and 1099 forms
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • T: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • S: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • Photocopy of marriage license (again)
    • Photocopy everything for records
    • FedEx to agency (1/6/2007)

    Receive child's "legals" from Korea (in English & Korean): (1/22/2007)

    • Affirmation and Oath Certificate (attests these documents are true and correct)
    • Certificate of the Guardian (certifies Korean agency was guardian)
    • Statement of Guardianship (transfers guardianship from Korean agency to American agency)
    • Extract of Family Register (birth certificate equivalent)

    I-600 visa petition form filed w/ US-CIS: (1/25/2007)

    • I-600 form
    • Copy of I-171H
    • Copies of child's legals
    • Originals of child's legals, with note and SASE envelope requesting they be returned
    • Copy of child report
    • Copy of child photos
    • Copy of most recent 1040 tax form
    • Copy of I-864
    • Copy of I-864A
    • Letter with visa cable instructions
    • Fedex to US-CIS San Francisco $25

    Meanwhile, the Korean agency works away:

    • Our application is translated
    • Korean agency applies for Emigration Permit with Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare
    • Ministry approves Emigration Permit (aka "EP")
    • Agency gets I-171 (I-600 approval) cable from US Embassy in Seoul
    • Baby tested for Hepatitis B & HIV
    • Visa physical for baby
    • Submit application for baby's IR-4 Visa

    Resubmit our I-600 visa petition after US-CIS screws up (2/9/2007)

    Buy baby gear (3/17/07)

    Baby CPR & safety class (2/17/07)

    Line up a regular pediatrician (3/5/07)

    Line up a pediatric cardiologist (3/14/07)

    Investigate childcare options (3/17/07)

    Line up Daycare (5/25/07)

    Get on preschool waiting list (1/5/07)

    Setup nursery(3/19/07)

    Get life insurance for both

    Write wills with statements of guardianship wishes (both)

    Set up trust

    S: Get pre-approval family leave with HR (1/24/2007)

    Buy gifts for foster family, Korean agency staff (3/16/07)

    Make travel arrangements to Korea ($185 plus 240,000 frequent flyer miles) (3/13/07)

    Wrap-up job for a 15-week leave (3/12/07-3/16/07)

    Finalize leave plans with HR (3/15/07)

    Travel to Korea (3/19/07 - 3/25/07)

    • Meet both foster mothers (3/21/07, 3/22/07, 3/23/07)
    • In-Korea pre-flight medical exam (3/22/07)
    • Go to US Embassy in Seoul to process Class-B Waiver (acceptance of medical condition) 3/22/07
    • Get the final Visa paperwork (3/22/07)
    • Take custody of child! (3/23/07)
    • Long plane ride back to USA (3/25/07)

    USA Medical Evaluations

    • Add baby to my health insurance (3/28/07)
    • Evaluation by regular pediatrician (3/30/07)
    • US immunizations (3/30/07)
    • Evaluation by pediatric cardiologist (4/18/07)
    Receive Placement Confirmation Notice from Agency (3/28/06)

    Receive baby's Green Card in mail (4/16/07)

    Get social security number under baby's Korean Name as permanent resident (4/27/07)

    Receive post-placement packet in mail from Agency(4/15/07)

    Post-placement visits from social worker: (9/12/07)

    • Visit #1 (4/28/07)
    • Visit #2 (6/30/07)
    • Visit #3 (7/26/07)
    • Visit #4 (9/12/07)

    Create and file child "progress reports" with 8-18 photos each, for Korean agency and government, and a letter with photos for foster family (9/12/07)

    • 1-month progress report (4/28/07)
    • 3-month progress report (6/30/07)
    • 4-month progress report (7/26/07)
    • 6-month progress report (9/12/07)

    File US Physician's Examination Report with Agency (4/17/07)

    File Adoption Finalization Paperwork in our county in California (5/1/07) ($20)

    • Form ADOPT-200 (Adoption Request) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-230 (Adoption Expenses) (5/1/07)

    RE-File Finalization Paperwork the State changed in July '07 (ARGH!) (11/13/07)

    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (11/13/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (11/3/07)

    Finalize Adoption in County Court

    • Receive "Consent to Adoption" from agency (11/2/07)
    • Schedule court hearing (coming in December '07!)
    • Adoption finalization court hearing (Munchkin is now a US citizen, and his American name is now his legal name!)
    • Have a HUGE Party to celebrate!
    • Send agency/Korea copy of child's adoption decree (child is no longer considered a Korean citizen)
    • Send adoption announcements

    Secure proof of US citizenship for child:

    • Complete & file N-600 with US-CIS, pay fee
    • Receive Certificate of Citizenship
    • File passport application
    • Receive passport
    • Apply to SSA to get status changed from resident alien to citizen, SS# name changed (passport is proof)

    Start the process all over again for kid #2!