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May 30, 2007

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Comments

Jenn

I'm going to miss you. Good luck in all you do.

Ali

Beautifully put. I will miss reading you - and always loved your attitude - the anti-fluffy clouds and rainbows attitude. It is much needed. And real. And appreciated. And you are right--we won't all end up as parents. But hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, we will all have that happy ending. Whatever that may be. If you ever decide to start a "Hey, I have a cool kid" blog, please let me know! To many, many more days of happiness to you and yours.
-Ali

Erin

I will also miss reading your story, but I am so happy that Munchkin is home with you. Thank you for all your words. They've been great encouragement for the dark times in my past, as well. Enjoy your adorable little boy and all that he does!

Lut C.

I'm selfishly sad to see you go. On the other hand, I'm very pleased the reason is that you have finally arrived.

dawn

I am glad that you have found you road to happiness. As someone who has faced infertility in the face and who also has chosen adoption, I felt a kindered spirit to yours. Best of luck with your new family--enjoy it as it goes way too fast.

Jennifer

I will miss hearing from you, but am so glad to be able to hear about the happy ending to your story. Good luck to you all in the future and thanks for sharing a slice of your life with us.

Tonya

You will be in my thoughts (and now that things are hopefully settling down in my world, I do hope we can get the boys together.) Wishing you many more blessings as you move forward to enjoy life.

millie

No, Thank You. You are far from a wretch. I am so very thankful and privileged to have had your blog and your friendship in my life. I'm still sad at seeing one go but I totally understand.

lucky#2

Thank you for being so honest and open throughout your journey. I know that Munchkin is so lucky to have found his parents and is now on his journey with you as his guide. Best of luck, friend.

judi

Thank you for everything and goodbye. I just read your last 3 posts and want to say both of our children are adopted through Ho1t and one now has an open adoption. She responded to a typical "Dear Birthmom - here how your child is doing, I hope we can have contact" letter. Don't give up hope, we were told it is rare but it does happen. Also I have read that BM's give their children up internationally because they want contact, something that won't happen if they are adopted in country. BYE!

T

Oh Susan! I will miss you (even though I'm late to the game, here, I thought you weren't blogging- d'oh!) but understand.

I wish you and your family the very best and am so glad you have munchkin in your life.

Linda

I'm so glad that I found your blog. If it weren't for your blog, I wouldn't have met you and the fabulous ladies at the Infertileblogapalooza in December 2005. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last year and a half without you and the rest of the crones. I'm sad to see you go, but it's totally understandable that you're embarking on a new chapter in your life.

I hope we'll cross paths again one day soon.

Elaine

Only just found your blog and of course, it's too late!
All the very best to you all.
x

Kimmer

Wow, your last post made me all teary-eyed. I guess the fact that you have found success through adoption and still understand that some of us may never be moms.
I'm so happy that you have little Munchkin, but so sad that you are leaving. But, I do understand.
Thank you for being you over the years and sharing your journeys and making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
I'm late to this post also, but your blog was one of the very first that I started reading several years ago.
I wish much happiness to you and your family; you will be very much missed.

Uncle Momo

God bless and all the best! Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

beagle

Good Luck! My the universe shower you with happiness!

Pam

Just found your blog and have read it from the beginning. I'm sorry you had to endure so much to get where you are today. May you, T and the Munchkin have a joyous life together. I'm sorry I was too late for his picture ;)

Good luck!

Nicole

I know your blog has been closed for some time but I just found it this week and it has been a godsend for me. Thank you.

kate

I just stumbled here, after trying to see how people are since I lost touch. Don't know if the comments find there way to you, but I hope so. Congratulations on your adoption, I hope all the best comes your way.

Linda Franco

Amazing site! As part of my job as a support person/fund raiser for A TIME, a Jewish infertility organization, I was looking up someone's question: 'Does the photocopy maching smell affect my fertility?" Instead of coming up with studies, I came up with this site. Regardless, the sharp writing and satire is exactly what a friend of mine needed who is laying down after yesterday's transfer. Good luck to you, and please refer people who would be interested in a Jewish faith-based organization serving clients affected by infertility, miscarriage and adoption.

Great site!

chris george

Malhotra Test Tube Baby and IVF Clinic in India provides IVF Treatments which includes IVF ICSI IUI Treatment Cost in India, Embryo Donation, Egg Donation, infertility treatment, Male Female Infertility Treatment India.

CM

Great post. I think everyone who wants to love a child deserves one. I wish I could do more to help. I finally had my baby boy at 39. I'd like another, but if it doesn't happen, I realize how blessed I am with one.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Adoption To-Do's

  • 

    Total Expenses So Far: $21,531

    Select country (Korea) (11/14/05)

    Select agency (11/17/05)

    Tell our families

    Receive preliminary application

    Preliminary App filed (12/5/05):

    • Fill in application
    • Photo of us, photo of house
    • Write medical statement, elaborating on treatment for depression
    • Line up four non-relative references
    • One copy of tax returns from past three years
    • Pay $200 fee
    • Notarized adoption services agreement $10
    • Fedex to Agency $15

    Receive Big App (12/15/05)

    Receive Korea Adoption Guidebook

    Home Study Paperwork: (1/19/06)

    • S: Complete "Personal Data" form with 67 essay questions
    • S: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • S: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • S: Criminal Record Statement
    • S: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • S: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • S: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • S: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • S: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • T: Complete 51 essay question "Personal Data" form
    • T: 1 photocopy birth certificate
    • T: Complete Authorization of Release of Information - Employer Verification
    • T: Criminal Record Statement
    • T: LiveScan fingerprint form (for State of California: criminal and child abuse index)
    • T: Schedule LiveScan fingerprinting appointments
    • T: LiveScan fingerprints done, pay $65
    • T: Medical Exam, including HIV and TB tests
    • T: Medical Report filled out by doctor
    • Complete detailed Financial Statement
    • 1 photocopy marriage license
    • Photo of baby's room
    • Map & directions to home
    • Copy all, keep for records
    • FedEx packet to agency, $15 (1/12/06)
    All 4 non-relative references return 3-page, 10-essay questionnaires directly to agency (1/28/06)

    Home Study Part 2: (4/3/2006)

    • Receive & pay invoice for home study $3066 (2/1/06)
    • Schedule social worker visits (2/10/06)
    • Childproof house (smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, outlet covers) $40
    • Social worker visit #1 (joint) (2/21/06)
    • Acceptable Medical Conditions Form (2/27/06)
    • From that details how "open" an adoption we are willing to consider  (2/27/06)
    • Social worker visit #2 (S only) (2/28/06)
    • Social worker visit #3 (T only) (2/28/06)
    • Sign up for module 1 & 2 of parenting class
    • Book travel for parenting class in Southern California
    • Modules 1 & 2 of agency parenting class (in SoCal) $500 (1/21/06)
    • Receive 2 completed, certified, notarized copies of Home Study (4/3/2006)

    Agency sends Home Study to Korea (HSTK) (4/7/2006)

    Sign up for modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class

    Take modules 3 & 4 of agency parenting class (4/9/06)

    I-600A filed with US-CIS (Advanced Processing of Orphan Petition for Visa) (4/6/2006):

    • I-600A form
    • Copy certified Home Study
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate
    • Photocopy of marriage license
    • Copy of most recent federal tax return
    • Proof of medical insurance
    • $545 fee + $140 for FBI fingerprints = $685
    • Cover letter
    • Copy all for records
    • Mail to US-CIS San Francisco

    FBI Fingerprinting:

    • US-CIS acknowledges receipt of I-600A (4/12/06)
    • FBI Fingerprinting appt. scheduled (different than LiveScan fingerprints)
    • FBI Fingerprinting completed, for each (4/28/06)

    Receive I-171H (Approval of I-600A) (5/11/06)

    Pick baby name

    Arrange for medical evaluation of referral

    Receive Referral (12/29/06)

    • Child's presentation letter
    • Child's information
    • Photographs
    • Medical records
    • Confidential background information

    Medical evaluation of Referral by Oakland Children's Hospital (1/10/2007)

    File Referral Acceptance Paperwork: ($140 + $12) (1/6/2007)

    • Child Information Transmittal
    • Pay invoice for $17,500
    • 3 Placement Agreements - all notarized
    • T: 4 Statements of Adoption (for child's Korean passport) - all notarized
    • 3 Travel Option forms
    • 1 Foreign Travel Release - notarized
    • T: 2 Affidavit re INS Vaccination Requirements
    • T: 2 I-864 Affidavit of Support for Immigration
    • S: 2 I-864A Contract between Sponsor and Household Member
    • Copy of entire last year tax return, with ALL attachments
    • Copy of all last year W-2 and 1099 forms
    • T: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • S: Photocopy of birth certificate (again)
    • T: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • S: Copy of 2006 paystubs
    • Photocopy of marriage license (again)
    • Photocopy everything for records
    • FedEx to agency (1/6/2007)

    Receive child's "legals" from Korea (in English & Korean): (1/22/2007)

    • Affirmation and Oath Certificate (attests these documents are true and correct)
    • Certificate of the Guardian (certifies Korean agency was guardian)
    • Statement of Guardianship (transfers guardianship from Korean agency to American agency)
    • Extract of Family Register (birth certificate equivalent)

    I-600 visa petition form filed w/ US-CIS: (1/25/2007)

    • I-600 form
    • Copy of I-171H
    • Copies of child's legals
    • Originals of child's legals, with note and SASE envelope requesting they be returned
    • Copy of child report
    • Copy of child photos
    • Copy of most recent 1040 tax form
    • Copy of I-864
    • Copy of I-864A
    • Letter with visa cable instructions
    • Fedex to US-CIS San Francisco $25

    Meanwhile, the Korean agency works away:

    • Our application is translated
    • Korean agency applies for Emigration Permit with Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare
    • Ministry approves Emigration Permit (aka "EP")
    • Agency gets I-171 (I-600 approval) cable from US Embassy in Seoul
    • Baby tested for Hepatitis B & HIV
    • Visa physical for baby
    • Submit application for baby's IR-4 Visa

    Resubmit our I-600 visa petition after US-CIS screws up (2/9/2007)

    Buy baby gear (3/17/07)

    Baby CPR & safety class (2/17/07)

    Line up a regular pediatrician (3/5/07)

    Line up a pediatric cardiologist (3/14/07)

    Investigate childcare options (3/17/07)

    Line up Daycare (5/25/07)

    Get on preschool waiting list (1/5/07)

    Setup nursery(3/19/07)

    Get life insurance for both

    Write wills with statements of guardianship wishes (both)

    Set up trust

    S: Get pre-approval family leave with HR (1/24/2007)

    Buy gifts for foster family, Korean agency staff (3/16/07)

    Make travel arrangements to Korea ($185 plus 240,000 frequent flyer miles) (3/13/07)

    Wrap-up job for a 15-week leave (3/12/07-3/16/07)

    Finalize leave plans with HR (3/15/07)

    Travel to Korea (3/19/07 - 3/25/07)

    • Meet both foster mothers (3/21/07, 3/22/07, 3/23/07)
    • In-Korea pre-flight medical exam (3/22/07)
    • Go to US Embassy in Seoul to process Class-B Waiver (acceptance of medical condition) 3/22/07
    • Get the final Visa paperwork (3/22/07)
    • Take custody of child! (3/23/07)
    • Long plane ride back to USA (3/25/07)

    USA Medical Evaluations

    • Add baby to my health insurance (3/28/07)
    • Evaluation by regular pediatrician (3/30/07)
    • US immunizations (3/30/07)
    • Evaluation by pediatric cardiologist (4/18/07)
    Receive Placement Confirmation Notice from Agency (3/28/06)

    Receive baby's Green Card in mail (4/16/07)

    Get social security number under baby's Korean Name as permanent resident (4/27/07)

    Receive post-placement packet in mail from Agency(4/15/07)

    Post-placement visits from social worker: (9/12/07)

    • Visit #1 (4/28/07)
    • Visit #2 (6/30/07)
    • Visit #3 (7/26/07)
    • Visit #4 (9/12/07)

    Create and file child "progress reports" with 8-18 photos each, for Korean agency and government, and a letter with photos for foster family (9/12/07)

    • 1-month progress report (4/28/07)
    • 3-month progress report (6/30/07)
    • 4-month progress report (7/26/07)
    • 6-month progress report (9/12/07)

    File US Physician's Examination Report with Agency (4/17/07)

    File Adoption Finalization Paperwork in our county in California (5/1/07) ($20)

    • Form ADOPT-200 (Adoption Request) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (5/1/07)
    • Form ADOPT-230 (Adoption Expenses) (5/1/07)

    RE-File Finalization Paperwork the State changed in July '07 (ARGH!) (11/13/07)

    • Form ADOPT-210 (Adoption Agreement) (11/13/07)
    • Form ADOPT-215 (Adoption Order) (11/3/07)

    Finalize Adoption in County Court

    • Receive "Consent to Adoption" from agency (11/2/07)
    • Schedule court hearing (coming in December '07!)
    • Adoption finalization court hearing (Munchkin is now a US citizen, and his American name is now his legal name!)
    • Have a HUGE Party to celebrate!
    • Send agency/Korea copy of child's adoption decree (child is no longer considered a Korean citizen)
    • Send adoption announcements

    Secure proof of US citizenship for child:

    • Complete & file N-600 with US-CIS, pay fee
    • Receive Certificate of Citizenship
    • File passport application
    • Receive passport
    • Apply to SSA to get status changed from resident alien to citizen, SS# name changed (passport is proof)

    Start the process all over again for kid #2!