Thank you - The Real Last Post

Hello,

I just realized that I have been quite remiss.  My last two posts answered any last-minute questions prior to my closing down this blog.  BUT I very inappropriately forgot to give a proper goodbye and to say thank you.

Mea culpa. What a wretch I am.

Thank you, all my friends, for all your unfailing support the last two plus years.  I feel so privileged and so lucky to have found this wonderful online community of smart, thoughtful, funny, gorgeous women (and the occasional man) who were walking the same path as I, have the same difficulties and challenges.

I seriously don't know how I would have made it without you.  At times, I felt so low that I did not think I could keep up the pursuit for a family.  During those dark times, you gave me strength and hope. I am certain I would not be holding my Munchkin today without you.

And in response to the comments you all left for me, I thank you so much for your sweet goodbyes. I had no idea that so many of you had been following our journey and at the same time found something to help you in your own story.  I am so blown away by that.  It means a TON to me to know that I made any kind of difference out there.

Thanks again. Thanks for reading. Thanks for writing. Thanks for your love, support, and wisdom. I've learned so much from all of you, most of all that I am not alone and to not be so freakin' judgmental.

I wish I could say something wise and promising to you about how the struggle makes you a better person and how you'll be a better mother because of it. But I don't really think that's true. 

And I can't say that often trotted out pearl of wisdom you'll hear at infertility and adoption conferences, "If you keep trying hard enough and are open to all the options, you will one day be a family." Because I don't think that's true either. Unfortunately, some of us will not ever have children. For some of us, infertility will strain our marriages to the breaking point. For some of us, no treatment will work, and due to health problems in our past or present we will not be allowed to adopt.  For some of us, our status as single people, lesbians or gays  will make it exceedingly difficult - maybe impossible - to find the right situation. For some of us, our financial circumstances will prevent us from putting our extra large hearts to work by parenting a precious child.

I can say this, though. I hope, from the core of my being, that every single one of of you finds your  happy ending.  More than anything I hope this.  I wish it every time I see a shooting star or have the opportunity to blow out candles. You've all been in my thoughts so often these past two years.

I'll wrap with the Irish blessing that my Grandma often recited:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May the Lord Universe hold you in the palm of His  its hand.

 

Comments

[Jenn]

I'm going to miss you. Good luck in all you do.

[Ali]

Beautifully put. I will miss reading you - and always loved your attitude - the anti-fluffy clouds and rainbows attitude. It is much needed. And real. And appreciated. And you are right--we won't all end up as parents. But hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, we will all have that happy ending. Whatever that may be. If you ever decide to start a "Hey, I have a cool kid" blog, please let me know! To many, many more days of happiness to you and yours.
-Ali

[Erin]

I will also miss reading your story, but I am so happy that Munchkin is home with you. Thank you for all your words. They've been great encouragement for the dark times in my past, as well. Enjoy your adorable little boy and all that he does!

[Lut C.]

I'm selfishly sad to see you go. On the other hand, I'm very pleased the reason is that you have finally arrived.

[dawn]

I am glad that you have found you road to happiness. As someone who has faced infertility in the face and who also has chosen adoption, I felt a kindered spirit to yours. Best of luck with your new family--enjoy it as it goes way too fast.

[Jennifer]

I will miss hearing from you, but am so glad to be able to hear about the happy ending to your story. Good luck to you all in the future and thanks for sharing a slice of your life with us.

[Tonya]

You will be in my thoughts (and now that things are hopefully settling down in my world, I do hope we can get the boys together.) Wishing you many more blessings as you move forward to enjoy life.

[millie]

No, Thank You. You are far from a wretch. I am so very thankful and privileged to have had your blog and your friendship in my life. I'm still sad at seeing one go but I totally understand.

[lucky#2]

Thank you for being so honest and open throughout your journey. I know that Munchkin is so lucky to have found his parents and is now on his journey with you as his guide. Best of luck, friend.

[judi]

Thank you for everything and goodbye. I just read your last 3 posts and want to say both of our children are adopted through Ho1t and one now has an open adoption. She responded to a typical "Dear Birthmom - here how your child is doing, I hope we can have contact" letter. Don't give up hope, we were told it is rare but it does happen. Also I have read that BM's give their children up internationally because they want contact, something that won't happen if they are adopted in country. BYE!

[T]

Oh Susan! I will miss you (even though I'm late to the game, here, I thought you weren't blogging- d'oh!) but understand.

I wish you and your family the very best and am so glad you have munchkin in your life.

[Linda]

I'm so glad that I found your blog. If it weren't for your blog, I wouldn't have met you and the fabulous ladies at the Infertileblogapalooza in December 2005. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last year and a half without you and the rest of the crones. I'm sad to see you go, but it's totally understandable that you're embarking on a new chapter in your life.

I hope we'll cross paths again one day soon.

[Elaine]

Only just found your blog and of course, it's too late!
All the very best to you all.
x

[Kimmer]

Wow, your last post made me all teary-eyed. I guess the fact that you have found success through adoption and still understand that some of us may never be moms.
I'm so happy that you have little Munchkin, but so sad that you are leaving. But, I do understand.
Thank you for being you over the years and sharing your journeys and making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
I'm late to this post also, but your blog was one of the very first that I started reading several years ago.
I wish much happiness to you and your family; you will be very much missed.

[Uncle Momo]

God bless and all the best! Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

[beagle]

Good Luck! My the universe shower you with happiness!

[Pam]

Just found your blog and have read it from the beginning. I'm sorry you had to endure so much to get where you are today. May you, T and the Munchkin have a joyous life together. I'm sorry I was too late for his picture ;)

Good luck!

[Nicole]

I know your blog has been closed for some time but I just found it this week and it has been a godsend for me. Thank you.

[kate]

I just stumbled here, after trying to see how people are since I lost touch. Don't know if the comments find there way to you, but I hope so. Congratulations on your adoption, I hope all the best comes your way.

[Linda Franco]

Amazing site! As part of my job as a support person/fund raiser for A TIME, a Jewish infertility organization, I was looking up someone's question: 'Does the photocopy maching smell affect my fertility?" Instead of coming up with studies, I came up with this site. Regardless, the sharp writing and satire is exactly what a friend of mine needed who is laying down after yesterday's transfer. Good luck to you, and please refer people who would be interested in a Jewish faith-based organization serving clients affected by infertility, miscarriage and adoption.

Great site!