Finally Arrived

Results of Cancelled IVF #1 / IUI #3

It failed.

Big University IVF

After the second Clomid IUI failed, Dr. Mustache sat me down for a talk. He said we could continue trying with the IUIs, but since we had been trying for over 2 years now he recommended that we start seeing an IVF specialist.  Dr. Mustache is an OB-GYN with a specialty in reproductive endocrinology, but he doesn’t do IVF.  I think he did a great job for me though; he did all the right tests and did a great job on my surgery – I had a really quick recovery and almost no scars.  I’d highly recommend him.

So, I started researching IVF clinics. There are seven or eight clinics in our area. But it turns out just one takes our health insurance (which is totally awesome health insurance that covers 3 lifetime IVF attempts) and it was only 30 minutes away.  So, the choice was easy – we chose Big University IVF Clinic.

The first available appointment was 6 weeks later, so I gathered all my medical records, did the clinic’s prerequisite blood tests for STDs, attended the clinic’s excellent monthly “Introduction to IVF” lecture.  This lecture was so academic and full of results from recent experiments that I just loved it.  (I'm a nerd, what can I say?)  And I really liked their attitude with regard to my high FSH levels. They were willing to let me try even though my chance of success was not the greatest; they viewed it as my choice. Many clinics won’t even let you try IVF if you have high FSH, probably to keep up their success rates with the CDC.

The Clomid IUIs Were Boring Too

By May 2004, we’d been trying for 2 years.  Dr. Mustache moved us out of the Minor Leagues of infertility and to The Show: next up was artificial insemination, also known as IUI (intrauterine insemination).

I took the same boring, old Clomid pills as before, but this time we added an ultrasound on day 11 to the mix to check when I was ovulating.

Anyway, back to the IUIs.  They both went exactly like this:

1)      Had an ultrasound on day 3 to confirm I didn’t have any ovarian cysts.

2)      Took 2 Clomid pills per day (25 mg each) on cycle days 5 through 9, at the exact same time each day. 

3)      Had another ultrasound on day 12 to determine timing of IUI (necessary because OPK pee-sticks do not seem to work for me.†)

4)      Husband produced “specimen” at home on morning of day 13. 

5)      Rushed to doctor’s office with specimen tucked into my pants so that it stays at body temperature.

6)      Embarrassed myself at Dr. Mustache’s - in front of all the women there for Pap smears by cutting to the front of the line to turn in my hubby’s juice.

7)     Waited in the waiting room for 45 minutes while they “washed” the sperm, basically centrifuged it until all the dead guys and the semen gunk fell to the bottom.  So all they’re left with are the vibrant, strong, sperm that are actually shaped right and move forward, with none of that gunky semen that would irritate the uterus.

8)      Got in the stirrups and they came at me with this really large needle-looking catheter thing.

9)   I felt pain and cramping for about 20 seconds while they passed this catheter thing through my cervix and then injected the sperm into my uterus.

10)  I remained lying down with my hips elevated for 10-15 more minutes.

11)   I left, went to work, and tried to come up with another excuse as to why I was late to work again (the day before I was also late because of the day 12 ultrasound appointment, remember?)

We did all this twice, in May and in June 2004. 

It didn’t work either time.

I don't think I have to explain how frustrated, devastated, and depressed I was through all of this.

† Since I started on the Synthyroid to treat my Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, my cycles were fairly regular and we knew I was ovulating.  Even though I only ONCE saw a positive result with my Ovulation Predictor Kit pee-tests.  All the other months I never saw a thing.  Maybe I had a bad batch of tests – I had bought them in bulk on the cheap from Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com but they did not work for me.

The Next Year Was Boring

…where was I?  Ah yes, the ectopic. 

Turns out I  got off easy with the Methotrexate.  Some women have incredible cramping and bleeding for days and days. For me, the pain lasted just one day although the bleeding went on and on.  And on and on. I bled every damn day from Feb. 25 through April 22.  It seemed like it would never end.  Dr. Mustache had to put me on birth control pills, double dosed, to make it stop.  And finally it did.  I could finally go buy new underwear.

We took two months off and then we were cleared to try again.  So we did "try, fail, repeat" for the next 4 or 5 months.  No luck.

The next step was the infamous HSG (hysterosalpingography) test, to check out if my fallopian tubes were still intact after the ectopic, as well as look for any other abnormalities in my uterus.  Basically, they squirt radioactive liquid into your uterus and then take an X-ray of your uterus and tubes.  Sometimes this procedure can be quite painful, but I didn’t feel a thing. I was one of the lucky ones.  Dr. Mustache said my HSG showed that my tubes were both still intact and clear and that my uterus was normal.  [Later, I found out he was wrong.  My uterus is not normal.]

Anyway, we kept trying - naturally for a few more months. 

We then did the “Clomid Challenge” – another test, like the Day 3 FSH test, to evaluate your ovarian reserve.  First, you do FSH and Estradiol blood tests on day 3, take 50 mg of Clomid on days 5 through 9, and then do another FSH on day 10.  If either the day 3 or day 10 FSH level is high (>10 or so, depending on the lab), or the day 3 Estradiol level is >80, then you FAIL.

Well, guess what - I failed.  That month, my day 3 FSH 8.0 (good) but my day 10 was 13.9 (bad).  But this was not exactly a surprise since I already failed the Day 3 FSH before and already knew I had a diminished ovarian reserve. 

And that, we did 4 cycles with Clomid and good-old sex.  Clomid cycles went like this:

1)      Ultrasound on day 3 to confirm I didn’t have any ovarian cysts.

2)      Took 2 Clomid pills per day (25 mg each) on cycle days 5 through 9, at the exact same time each day. 

3)      Got busy days 11, 12, 13, and 14 (that is, if we were able to manage it 4 days in a row).

After that, we wouldn’t have sex again for the rest of the month.  The damn Clomid completely dried me out “down there”, making our now mechanical, purpose-driven, on-a-strict-schedule sex life that much more delightful. 

And guess what?  None of it worked.